There's an advert on TV at the moment for Martini. To make the advert attractive to your mum (mums fucking love Martini), the advert features George Clooney. Mums love George Clooney almost as much as they love Martini.

Anyway, gorgeous George and a ladyfriend are on a speedboat in some tropical lagoon, George is on a promise and has some Martini with him to celebrate. But, oh no! The speedboat conks out because George forgot to put enough petrol. Now he won't get any!

Luckily a swarthy chap appears in a rowing boat, so George asks him if he'll fix his boat; look he's brought petrol and everything. George offers money but, and here's the thing, the chap in the rowing boat points to George's case of Martini. That's what he wants in payment. He wants George's booze!

Of course, George loves Martini so much he ends up stranded on an island with his case of booze while the swarthy chap escapes with his smart boat and his girl. Good old George, he fucking loves Martini that much.

But here's the thing: